Bumper cars

I get it.  I completely understand that people don't like it when you bump into the back of their car.  But it's not like I meant to do that.  I didn't set out in the morning thinking, "Gee, I'd really like to rear end someone today.  Who's going to be the unfortunate one?  That old lady looks like she wants hit."  I swear I didn't think that.  Although, the old lady I hit slowly coasted into acted like I thought that.  It was such a minor tap, the girls didn't even know we hit anything and didn't understand why we were stopping.  I, myself, didn't think it was necessary to stop either but there's that whole hit and run felony thing I didn't want to mess with.
I immediately apologized but she didn't want any of that.  She looked at her bumper, rubbed off the dead bugs that transferred from my bumper to hers, and demanded to see my insurance information.  Wouldn't you know that the insurance card in my purse was expired.  Do you think she noticed?  Of course.  She so gently informed me by scoffing, "This is expired."  I told her that yes, it says it is expired on that card but my insurance is in fact up to date.  I just haven't printed a new card.  She kindly replied, "I'll have to look into that."  I thought about telling her I could pull up the up to date one on my Geico iPhone app but I didn't think she would care to see it.  I figured looking into my insurance would give her something to do.
After carefully inspecting my insurance card, she says, "I assume you are Kacina."  Which I proudly reply, "Yes, yes I am."  Normally, people comment on my unique name.  Not her.  She just said she wanted to see my license to verify I was who I said I was.  I was half way surprised she didn't pull out a handheld license verification tool like they use at clubs and casinos.
After she had everything but a blood sample from me, she told me she would get it washed (probably to get off all the dead bugs from my 200 mile highway journey to Fort Wayne and back) and make sure there was no damage.  She said she would call and let me know in a few days what she finds.
I can't wait for that call.